Time and Hands and Summers of Childhood

How time never goes by, but always right through

---

Traces. There are years in our hands, not all of them anymore, some have flown away, but others way heavily, even the slight ones, they stay, dug in deep

---

Do you remember?

We waded through the snow-soaked meadows, shivering, rejoicing, carrying spring within us, ready to burst out, grabbing everything, clenching our little fists around the bright day, throwing it high in the air ...

Then summer. The trout in the little stream, us on the boardwalk above, the doll dangling in one hand while the other threw pebbles into the water ... the sparkle around us and within us ... we ... our rosy skin ... our little sweaty summer hands ...

Do you remember? It's been a long time.

---

Always and everywhere hands. Why are they so anchored in my memory? ...

Big hands, old hands, paper-thin wrinkled skin with brown spots, young hands, strong, dexterous, busy hands, sad hands, yes, those too, the tear-sad hands, and the comforting ones too ...

---

We collected mushrooms and blueberries, mixed the dough, baked pancakes, squeezed lemons into the jug of spring water, secretly poured in double the portion of sugar, dipped our fingers into sweet life, licked them with our eyes closed ...

The heavy bedspreads, the creaking floorboards, the spiders in the corners, the scent of ... everything ... a lush bouquet of meadow flowers ... sun and night ...crickets chirping through the open window, dancing shadows on the walls, sleepily whispered plans for the next day ... vacation ... self-overlapping time ...

The buried treasure, the secret meetings in the treetops, the strong muscles, the young skin, the jumps, the hops, the races, the throws, the games, the adventures, the danger, the dreams, the deep sleep ...

Why that ... so long ago ... do you still remember?

---

The cold hands, waxen, pale, with the nevermore in every fiber, silent on the white sheet, the cool room, the severed air, the no and the not and the cut off you 

---

The repetitions, the grids, the sharp edges, the boxes, the perpetual clock, the processes

the beautiful

the good

---

My hands on the keyboard, my dancing fingers and the knowledge that lives in them, the lines in my palms and what they are talking about: that this is by no means everything

The never ending that creates the connection to the very first unconscious all-encompassing

The grip, the comprehension, the groping, the grasping, the letting again

---

Übersetzung eines Textes aus 2015: Zeit und Hände und Kindheitssommer

Empire of Devotion

They are uniques 

held together 

by loose space

electrically connected

by unspoken longings

as old as their bones

When they were kids

time stood still

on their command

for every shared secret

and all those promises

made for eternity

Decades have passed

they finally found shelter

in an empire of devotion:

true naked skin

shown to each other

in unquestioning trust

Adopted

In our dreams we went far

in search of landscapes

to trade for the desert inside

We knew no holding on

and no holding up

and sooner or later

we always ended up at the sea

greeted by a strong wind

and a rough coast

a hidden bay, a sunny beach

We took off our clothes

ran barefoot through the sand

into the arms of the sea

We let ourselves be embraced

and weighed and carried out

and let go and grabbed again

and touched all over and held

so tight and finally given back

to the beach

We exposed ourselves

to the sun and the wind

breathing, dancing

satisfied ...

Later we lay in the sand, naked

waiting for dusk, nightfall

a pale moon to announce

the arrival of the animals

They came singly or in packs

We heard their panting before their steps

Not long and their breath touched our skin

then their tongues, never their teeth

They came only for the salt

which they licked greedily off our bodies

Around us and within us

the constant roar of the surf

the ever-present sea

...

At some point the animals left

and moved on

and we had only one last wish:

to wake up not in our beds

but on the same beach

by the same sea

adopted by our fondest dreams

and a pack of wild animals

Favourites

My favourite colour?

A sea-salty Blue.

My favourite word?

Has to be true.

My favourite person?

Someone like you.

Dein Potenzial / Your Potential

Dein Potenzial 

Abgesessen

das Polster der Zeit

und zerschlissen

Unausgerichtetes Du

Wenn manchmal etwas

gelang

verdankte es sich dem Zufall

Hättest du dein Potenzial

doch genutzt

an sämtlichen Traumata vorbei

wie so ein Übermensch

***

Your Potential

Worn-out

the cushion of time

and raddled

Unaligned you

When sometimes something

worked out

it was due to chance

If only you had used

your potential

past all traumata

like one of those supermen

Genesis

I was spat out on the edge of the world

enclosed in a tough skin

Darkness all around

You came and grabbed me with your claws

threw me into the sea

pushed me deep down to the bottom

and pulled me out again

You dragged me into your cave

and licked the salt off my body with your rough tongue

You fed me raw fish and meat

and prepared me a bed on your furry breast

Then you sang me a lullaby about fishing and hunting

and watching the seasons go by

For the first time in my life

I felt completely safe

So I let myself fall into a deep dreamless sleep

In the morning I took the first breath of a new life

then slipped out of my skin

and straightened up

Light all around

I looked at you

- your mighty body and your knowing gaze

all of your controlled power -

and I knew:

If God were a predator like you

that would give me back my faith

This Great Earth

(for Mathilda *12.06.2021)

Hey little one,

this great earth was given to you.

There's no age limit for its use,

so take it in your hands

and hold it tight

and touch it carefully.

Do you feel the bumps?

These are the mountains 

and the valleys.

Some are very high and

some are very deep, aren't they?

Do you feel the wet here and there?

Dip your fingers in and lick them:

Sometimes it tastes salty and

sometimes it tastes sweet.

Do you prefer one of them?

Or do you like the mix?

Shake your sphere a little bit.

What is trickling there 

is sometimes snow and

sometimes sand.

Some parts feel so cold, don't they?

And some parts feel quite hot, watch out!

And watch too what's going on

all over this miracle ball!

There's a lot of life above and on 

and underneath the surface.

Pure bustling life wherever you look

with your young blue eyes.

Everything is ready to satisfy

your curiosity and your thirst

for knowledge.

So take it and hold it tight

and shake it a little bit,

just for fun.

But also take care of it.

Let me tell you something:

All life on this funny ball

is vulnerable and will leave one day

and knows that

and wants to stay as long

and happily as possible.

So handle with care

and get familiar with the needs

of this exciting sphere

and it will bring you pleasure

for a lifetime.

Hey little one,

this great earth was given to you.

There's no age limit for its use,

just a few simple instructions

to follow to keep it alive.

Some of Us

Some of us had fallen from the sky

Some of us knew the exact number of stars

Some of us were able to tame tigers

Some of us could fly like the wind

                 *

Some of us went to war

Some of us dropped bombs that mortally wounded

some of us

Some of us could not forget

Some of us went insane

Some of us ran amok

Some of us lost our loved ones

Some of us wanted revenge

Some of us were lonely

Some of us spun in circles

Some of us had nightmares

Some of us never woke up

Some of us believed in God

Some of us believed in monsters

Some of us believed in miracles

Some of us lost all our faith

Some of us sowed grain

Some of us dug wells

Some of us dared to do something

Some of us surpassed ourselves

Some of us broke new ground

Some of us got lost

Some of us pointed a finger to

some of us

Some of us wanted to be part

Some of us closed ourselves off

Some of us were in the same boat

Some of us took hold of the rudder

Some of us pushed

some of us into the sea where

some of us drowned and

some of us were rescued

Some of us drew boundaries that

some of us broke, causing

some of us to take up arms to keep

some of us at bay

Some of us came to our senses

Some of us tore down fences so

some of us could get in touch and realize

there were no Others but just and always

Some of Us

                 *

Some of us witnessed miracles

Some of us tamed tigers

Some of us flew like the wind

Some of us touched the sky

Komplette Neufassung und gleichzeitige Übertragung ins Englische des Gedichts Einige von uns, das ich 2016 geschrieben habe

Found by a Book of Poems

Today I was found by a book of poems

It read me in a way that made me feel a better person

I could not turn away and,

to be honest, I didn't want to

It felt like waking up under a loving gaze

So I bought this book

and brought it home

and placed it on the empty pillow

next to mine

(After getting lost in Raymond Carver's Collected Poems for the hundredth time)